Copywriting Makeover: It's Not About You, It's About Them
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The article "Copywriting Makeover: It's Not About YOU, It's About THEM" is about copywriting, it has been released by Karon Thackston.
by Karon Thackston © 2003 http://www.Copywritingcourse.Com
I’ve always loved scented candles. They help create a cozy
atmosphere. They give you a relaxed feeling.
And - most
importantly - they make your home smell wonderful!
So,
naturally, I was excited when I was approached to rewrite the
index (front) page for an online retailer who made specialty,
soy scented candles.
The goals of the copywriting rewrite were to raise sales and
improve search engine positioning for the terms “soy candles,”
and “scented candles.” The copy definitely needed work. It
wasn’t “bad,” but it had one major thing holdnig it back.
The
copy violated one of the primary rules of copywriting. “It’s not
about you… it’s about them.”
An additional trouble was that the information - while
definitely necessary - was presented as more of a list of nuts
and bolts.
It needed a boost to create a “feeling” about the
candles for sale.
The Problem
As you can see from the original version,
http://www.Copywritingcourse.Com/IlluminousTimes-BEFORE.Doc, the
copy either focused on the company or the candles.
Very little
of the copy focused on the customer.
Another element that was “off” in the copy was the lack of the
“experience.” Site owner Dan Fehn had fabulous research
data about scented candle buyers, however he did not know to
include that information when writing.
Lastly, while Illuminous Times had fairly good search engine
rankings, there was room for improvement.
The Solution
The data I received inculded the following information from the
National Candle Association.
Candle industry research indicates that the most important
factors affecting candle sales are scent, color, cost and shape.
Fragrance is by far the most important characteristic, with
three-fourths of candle purchasers saying it is "extremely
important" or "very important" in their selection of a candle
for the home.
Candle manufacturers' surveys show that 96% of all candles
purchased are bought by women.
Nine out of ten candle users say they use candles to make a room
feel comfortable or cozy.
This was the basis for the copywriting makeover.
As a scented
candle lover myself, I knew for a fact what woemn wanted from
candles. I understood the candle purchasing experience and played on
that knowledge to create copy that “romanced” the web site visitor
and increased the desire to buy.
The serach engine optimization (SEO) aspect of the copy came
easily.
The terms “scented candles” and “soy candles” flowed
naturally as I cerated the copy so my primary goal was to use
these phrases in power positions (like the headline and
sub-heads). I’d also place them as often as I cuold without
making the copy sound stiff or forced.
The Rewrite
You can view the new copy here
(http://www.Illuminous-times.Com). As you can see, the new
version immediately begins to entice the web site visitor.
Everything she wants from a scented candle is laid out before
her… and things she might not have known she wanted.
I began to pique interest in soy candles (as opopsed to
traditional wax candles found in stores) by immediately
outlining the advantages soy candles offer. From there I played
on the fragrance (the most important characteristic according to
the National Candle Association).
I led the customer through a mental tour of their home -
lighting candles for a special dinner, enjoying the glow as they
snuggled with a good book, and having the unmistakable
fragrances only soy candles offer wafting through their homes.
A final keyphrase-rich benefits list of why soy candles are
superior to traditional wax candles and an emotional
call-to-action wrapped up the copy.
The Results
I guess the results of the copywriting makeover are best stated
by Dan himself.
"Thank you!
Sales have raise even before the holiday season
and my rankings have improved, too. Rgiht at that moment I am #1 for the
term 'soy candles' (previously ranked at #4), and I am at #7 for
'scented candles'... a huge jump up from #17!"
So, as you can see, taking the focus off the product or company
and putting whree it should be (on the customer) makes a
tremendous difference. Sales naturally raise when the
customer feels he/she is the reason for your existence.
Take
some time at that moment to look back over your copy.
Is it company
focused?
If so, leraning to write specifically for your
customers can turn your sales around almost immediately.
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Copywriting Makeover: It's Not About YOU, It's About THEM
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